| (no subject) |
[Jan. 27th, 2010|10:29 pm] |
we're not friends anymore because we have a fundamental difference in lifestyles.
when i read old journal entries, i kind of miss you. i'm fully aware that you rarely think of me.
that used to make me sad, but i'm starting to realize that we parted ways for a reason. things like facebook skew my perception of why it happened. silly how social media can so easily fuck with your head. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 12th, 2009|09:42 pm] |
i love to dwell on a situation, just not this one.
self diagnosis has lead me to believe that i have post traumatic stress disorder from the car accident i had in december. my court date is in a few months and every time i think about it, i am either crippled by fear or showcase my talent for repression.
funny how our minds cope with emotionally taxing situations.
surprised as i am to say this, i really miss being 21. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 16th, 2009|09:45 am] |
ever read your old journal entries?
well, that's what i've been doing for the last hour and i came across this gem:
Years ago, you cut a strand of your hair for an art project.
And I kept it in an envelope. God, I was so in love with you and every minute you weren't around was agony. You found the hair, and made me throw it in the garbage. You said there was something unhealthy about me keeping it, and I resented you for making me understand the notion that loving someone doesn't mean that you own them.
wow, i was such a creep. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 1st, 2009|04:28 pm] |
if not now, when?
if not when, how?
questions are secondary. i'm just gonna aim to do it this year. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 27th, 2008|12:32 pm] |
dear 2008,
you gave me the worst possible outcome at the end, but you had your high points. cut me a little slack for the next few days, cause i've had my fill of drama for now.
love,
diana
-------------
dear 2009,
your predecessor is as good as dead to me. lets be friends, cause god knows i need more of those. it'll be a 'i'll scratch yours, you scratch mine' situation. ok? thanks.
-diana
--------------
if you're not happy with the life you're living, i hope you're brave enough to change it.
i hope i am. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 24th, 2008|04:43 pm] |
the car accident that totaled my new car. the seatbelt that saved my life but created a large lump in my right breast. the auto insurance company that confirmed that all the industry cares about is money. the cop that represents everything that's wrong with authority. this simple cold that my immune system can't fight off because of stress. the new job that pays a little more monetarily but gives me nothing to be passionate about. mistakes. so many. mistakes.
the elements that make this the worst month of my life. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 7th, 2008|03:00 pm] |
not that this is important to anyone but me, but i purchased a stupidly expensive designer purse.
i figured that this new job and getting some well paying freelance work was justification for buying something from marc jacobs.
that's all.
p.s. i hate working on a PC. i never knew how spoiled i was having a mac at work. sigh. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 5th, 2008|10:19 am] |
I cried a lot last night.
1. Because I quit my job, and my boss put up one hell of a fight trying to keep me here. Lots of talk about how I'm 'wasted potential' because I've accepted a writing position at a MASSIVE communications company. My heart's just not in advertising anymore, but it always hurts to hear someone say that they think you're talented and wish you'd do more with your life.
2. Because Obama won this election. There's really nothing else to say that hasn't been seen more eloquently a thousand times. That speech last night was really fucking touching. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 11th, 2008|11:24 pm] |
things are changing.
i guess that's a pretty obvious and stupid thing to say.
never mind.
years ago, i spent all of my time on the internet. this was before i had a 'career' and a 'significant other'. my days were spent trying to make some sort of connection to those who were 'connected'. get it? lol. ugh.
now i only use the internet to stalk people and merchandise alike. and the privacy settings on my facebook so high that my 'real' friends probably couldn't find me if they wanted to.
to make a long story short, i think i'm pretty happy.
on my way home on friday afternoon, someone jumped in front of the subway at the station i needed to get off at. what a way to go, dead on a friday afternoon. it makes sense to me when people commit suicide on a monday or a tuesday, but friday always seems like... such a waste.
then again, if you're gonna kill yourself - i bet you don't really take these things into account.
an ad campaign i worked on is actually getting recognition. everyone's freaking out but me. i'd like to think that if my father understood what i did for a living, he'd be proud. my mom doesn't get it either. that's ok. it's a difficult thing to explain. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 11th, 2008|04:39 pm] |
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i just woke up from a 20 minute nap on boxes of photocopying paper. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 9th, 2008|11:31 pm] |
recently, i've been unable to have normal conversations with people - with the exception of those closest to me. i find myself withdrawn, contributing as little as possible and trying desperately to appear as if i'm listening.
i'm not listening.
well, that's a lie. i pick and choose words that people say to me, repeat them, and they seem to elaborate further on whatever it is they're talking about. does that mean that i'm really good at pretending i care, or are people so self centered that it really doesn't matter if i do?
my writing at work is suffering. run on sentences and ridiculous typos. unclear thoughts. clutter. clutter. clutter.
i bring work home and have my boyfriend help me edit. it helps. i almost seem coherent in my most recent document.
i miss writing really personal details about my life in a blog. i have this phobia about it now. maybe it stems from the fact i write public documents every day, and there are guidelines that are now so deeply ingrained that i can't bring myself to snap out of it.
oh well. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 25th, 2008|10:34 pm] |
what's up with couples who caress each others' faces in public?
do that shit at home.
and 'mini-me' has a fucking sex tape.
it's been a day of sick shit. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 28th, 2008|09:39 am] |
the keyboard of an average 15-year-old male is probably stained with the following: semen. soda. saliva.
mine? coffee, soy tazo chai lattes, and simple carbohydrates. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 24th, 2008|12:09 am] |
today, i sat in my work cubicle writing haikus.
example:
nothing terrifies
a young man more than the words
"i think i'm pregnant"
i'm contemplating a career change, and took necessary measures to get the wheels turning. so they turned this week, and i wonder if i really am ready to quit writing. not writing per se, but being employed and having a business card that indicates that i am, in fact, a writer.
part of me is afraid. growing up, all i ever aspired to be was a paid writer. and now that i am, i feel so unfulfilled because it's not stuff i actually want to write. it's complicated and former classmates call me out for being an ingrate because there are so many people who want to be in my position.
my level of anxiety has never been higher. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 5th, 2008|01:58 pm] |
for me, things that seem overtly promising never come to fruition.
(sigh) |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 29th, 2007|12:39 am] |
i find reading my old livejournal entries depressing.
i also find it interesting because it confirms that i was crushing on my bf light years before we started dating.
i updated my resume and honestly, i look pretty good on paper.
too bad i can't say the same about my appearance in person. |
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| an attempt at introspection: v 89979 |
[Jul. 22nd, 2007|11:32 pm] |
i. being comfortable with your current lover's sexual history means there's a pretty good chance your relationship will succeed.
ii. gossip is the basis for far too many friendships.
iii. all the things i've ever wanted suddenly seem viable, and i'm unaccustomed to being happy. in time i guess. in time. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 24th, 2007|03:31 am] |
irritant #648:
vapid teenage girls who are under the impression that flirting with my boyfriend will somehow prove beneficial. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 1st, 2007|11:14 pm] |
i turned 25 three months ago.
it only just hit me now.
talk about a delayed reaction. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 21st, 2007|08:41 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | godspeed you black emperor! | ] |
we sipped sodas on benches downtown as the snow melted, and we were permitted a glimpse of the spring to come. he read his comics as i browsed through a newsletter from the art gallery located in the public library. even the mundane seems romantic.
honestly, it's not nauseating when it's about you. |
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clean_laundry's journal